You could mean everything to me
Uh. I'm not really in the mindset to blog right now. I'm pretty much screwing up everything right now, and I can't coherently put finger to key to create a digestable blog entry.
I've made mistakes. If I had the chance, I'd do everything differently. Even two months ago, I would've changed everything. As a consequence of making bad choices I sit here after a day of depressing music and xbox writing a blog entry on the first real regret I have in life. One that will no doubt plague my heart for years to come.
I can't imagine the pain.
Most possibly, I've thrown away everything that anyone could want. And to my confusion, I put it down to gut feelings to guide me through this time. I do love him, and I would love to see the person he becomes.
I'm just scared. It's so difficult to know what to expect. The love, the rage, the hatred. It cycles around me, stripping me of the ability to display any emotion. Confuses me, blinding me to the need of others to know how I feel. I hate myself right now.
After reading an extremely moving blog entry yesterday, I cried for the first time. The tears just came all of a sudden. I stood in the shower sobbing, knowing that I had lost a love, and that I was paying for my actions, and realising that I'm the fucked up one. The psycho ex.
My silence says everything.
I wish I could remove myself from being able to love anyone, or be loved, so that no one would ever get hurt. No one could be disappointed.
I want to plea, cry and scream. So often I want to scream. So often I want to smother the sobbing. What have I done??
OnAirwithBlackPunk : Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
In the day, in the night, say it right, say it all
You either got it or you don't, you either stand or you fall
When your will is broken, when it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking, there's a hole in the plan
I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show you tonight
Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
Have you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me
From my hands I could give you something that I made
From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body I could show you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy, do you really want to go?
I've made mistakes. If I had the chance, I'd do everything differently. Even two months ago, I would've changed everything. As a consequence of making bad choices I sit here after a day of depressing music and xbox writing a blog entry on the first real regret I have in life. One that will no doubt plague my heart for years to come.
I can't imagine the pain.
Most possibly, I've thrown away everything that anyone could want. And to my confusion, I put it down to gut feelings to guide me through this time. I do love him, and I would love to see the person he becomes.
I'm just scared. It's so difficult to know what to expect. The love, the rage, the hatred. It cycles around me, stripping me of the ability to display any emotion. Confuses me, blinding me to the need of others to know how I feel. I hate myself right now.
After reading an extremely moving blog entry yesterday, I cried for the first time. The tears just came all of a sudden. I stood in the shower sobbing, knowing that I had lost a love, and that I was paying for my actions, and realising that I'm the fucked up one. The psycho ex.
My silence says everything.
I wish I could remove myself from being able to love anyone, or be loved, so that no one would ever get hurt. No one could be disappointed.
I want to plea, cry and scream. So often I want to scream. So often I want to smother the sobbing. What have I done??
OnAirwithBlackPunk : Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
In the day, in the night, say it right, say it all
You either got it or you don't, you either stand or you fall
When your will is broken, when it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking, there's a hole in the plan
I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show you tonight
Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
Have you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me
From my hands I could give you something that I made
From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body I could show you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy, do you really want to go?
posted by Christopher at
3:44 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home