I play it off (Part 1)
Ergh. I just finished work. What a ball-breaker of a night! I had to come here and blog because I'm a bit down right now and am in need of some cathartic resolution.
It's all a bit too overwhelming right now. Work is crazy, and I'm finding it really really hard to keep my cool when so much is going on, so many stock issues, staffing issues etc. There's so much I need from the company, and my position now kind of allows me to make a stronger point as to what needs to be done in order for me to make money, but it also feels like my opinion is noted then dismissed. Sometimes. I can't really complain, everything I've suggested thus far has been really loooked into, but I feel like soon the novelty of me being the new manager will wear thin and my opinion will be rendered irrelevant. I'll have to wait and see. I hate having to wait and see. It's such a shameful cop out.
I have to write this next topic eventually. I'm sorry MM.
My friendships lately have been affected by work, and other issues in my life. Friends have left me since I left for a relationship. Since around the age of 17, I've had three major friendships in my life, where I've bared all in the hope that a lifelong bond would emerge. So far, no luck. And it's made me think, perhaps friendships outside of a couple-type relationship aren't meant to be forever. So why do I tear my heart out over something that is somewhat destined to be a memory? I did love him, that's a known fact to many. But I just don't anymore. Brent is the one for me. Why am I made to feel guilty for finding the one that so many cry about not being able to source?
I feel like I've been disregarded because I don't fit into the 'single' category. So many times in the past I've been shunted aside by friends who have gained a significant other, and yet still was expected to be there on call for any emergency. I thought I was a good friend. I don't know.
It's all a bit too overwhelming right now. Work is crazy, and I'm finding it really really hard to keep my cool when so much is going on, so many stock issues, staffing issues etc. There's so much I need from the company, and my position now kind of allows me to make a stronger point as to what needs to be done in order for me to make money, but it also feels like my opinion is noted then dismissed. Sometimes. I can't really complain, everything I've suggested thus far has been really loooked into, but I feel like soon the novelty of me being the new manager will wear thin and my opinion will be rendered irrelevant. I'll have to wait and see. I hate having to wait and see. It's such a shameful cop out.
I have to write this next topic eventually. I'm sorry MM.
My friendships lately have been affected by work, and other issues in my life. Friends have left me since I left for a relationship. Since around the age of 17, I've had three major friendships in my life, where I've bared all in the hope that a lifelong bond would emerge. So far, no luck. And it's made me think, perhaps friendships outside of a couple-type relationship aren't meant to be forever. So why do I tear my heart out over something that is somewhat destined to be a memory? I did love him, that's a known fact to many. But I just don't anymore. Brent is the one for me. Why am I made to feel guilty for finding the one that so many cry about not being able to source?
I feel like I've been disregarded because I don't fit into the 'single' category. So many times in the past I've been shunted aside by friends who have gained a significant other, and yet still was expected to be there on call for any emergency. I thought I was a good friend. I don't know.
posted by Christopher at
10:36 PM
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