I should have known right from the start you'd go and break my heart

I'm so stressed. Everything is turning 'upside down' (and not in the Diana Ross sense). Work has gone completely insane and I just feel like everything will eventuate to nothing. I have never felt further from my own best friends than I do now, nobody seems to understand. Opportunites are over-run by our personal lives. Sometimes it's better to have nothing than to have everything and lose it. On some level, I need to be alone to gather my thoughts.

Work has decided to open a sale store (this Saturday) in between their two city stores, selling shirts for $49. The constant decision to make money in the short term, rather than think of the strategic progression and success of the company, annoys me so much. Especially when I've poured so much time and effort into the company from starting 2 years ago and watching bad decision after bad decision, ruin what was an amazing, boundary-pushing company.

I had dinner at Paulina's place the other week, where I was given a bottle of Cristal for my birthday, a special edition version, in a box, beautifully packaged, with an acompanying letter straight from the heart. Paulina, I love you, and will always be here for you, if not physically, definitely spiritually. We're the same. I noticed the list of phone numbers on the fridge at their place and was touched where my name found its place.

Meanwhile, the potential job at Bang&Olufsen has moved to the next step, and I'm meeting the state manager early next week. I've been trying to familiarise myself with the product, but with everything named with numbers and prefixed with "Beo", it's a troublesome task. The first interview went quite well, I left a bit dazzled, not knowing or being able to gauge how I went, but after I had spoken with the woman from Rosche, she assured me that they were happy and that I was going to move to the next step in the recruitment process. Knowing that it was a shopper that recommended me to Rosche makes me all the more inquisitive as to what they liked about me. It's a little case of "fishing for complements", but knowing what Bang&Olufsen saw in me, would enable me to sell myself all the more easily. Anyway, I don't really know what I'd do, whether I'd take it, but it's a lot more money so that's great, and the role allows me to expand and work with Architects and Designers, implementing a much larger customer service ideal.

The prospect of a new job has got me looking to buy a car. I had a beautiful brunch/Mariah-singing-session with Marky Mark today, and we compared the benefits of buying a new car opposed to a second-hand. A second hand Mini would be nice, and the depreciation after three years wouldn't be as bad as it would be buying it new, otherwise a new Ford Fiesta would be great. 5-door, black. It's European made too so that's good... The idea of a Ford immediately was a turn-off but Mark was able to twist my arm, being a car-buff et al. It'd be cute and practical. About 25k so it wouldn't kill me...

As for music right now, Mardi Gras got me right into Bob Sinclar's "Love Generation", which isn't really a surprise considering it was on every second float in the parade. Mariah is still on extremely high rotation a year on from "Emancipations" release, and that's starting to worry even me. Stop press! Kanye West is actually smart!... and cool (in a black, "I'm great & I'm confident, and no-one-can-tell-me-otherwise sort of way"). Mary J. Blige has got the goods with her new album, perfecting hip-hop/soul once again. I've concurred with Chris, she's soo underrated. Nelly Furtado has struck me with "Folklore", even being an old-release, "Try" is an amazing song, the album is classic in a reflective/alternative way. Lose the weight Janet, I'm sick of waiting, and so are the rest of your fans. You owe us.

So I'll let you know (which actually means 'another blog entry in a month') what happens with everything. Perhaps things will change for the better, 'for once in my life' (and not in the Stevie Wonder sort of way).

Word.

OnAir with BlackPunk : Mariah Carey - Bringin' On The Heartbreak