It won't be long now...

Breathe. Breathe DC. Breathe.

I wish I had some Harajuku girls to run around with me.



My 21st Birthday Party is in 5 days time, and there is so much to do.

I often stop and wonder whether organising my 21st is vain and self promoting.

Bu then I think. 'F**k that'. What kind of Rockstar would I be if I wasn't vain and self promoting. Haha.

It looks like there'll be now around 90 people on the tiny Circus rooftop. I'm starting to worry. I do hope everyone who says they're coming will actually turn up, I would really like to see them all.

What to wear....

I have to write in separate paragraphs so I can keep track of what I'm writing. My mind is all over the place right now.

Brainless transactions

I've just come from the Commonwealth Bank where we just paid rent. The 'customer service assistant' over the counter asked me as she was putting through the transaction, whether or not I banked with the CBA, to which I answered no. As she asked why we didn't bank with the CBA, I decided to be honest, as she seemed kind and genuine enough.

'Because it sucks...'

'It doesn't...' she replied, 'Who do you bank with?'

'Westpac...'

'What does Westpac do that the CBA don't?' she asked.

'They don't hassle me.'

I apologised to her, saying that I didn't mean to be rude, but I just haven't had good experiences with the CBA. My frustration is warranted considering the amount of paperwork I had to fill out to close an account with a balance no more than 22 cents, the rudeness and incompetence from the staff in trying to find out an unknown direct debit coming out of Brent's account, and the rude pressuring I received when trying to pay out and closing my credit card account. I ended up having to yell at the call centre staff member, telling him that I wanted to close my account, and that was the end of it.

The CBA promote their new in-branch 'paperless transaction' system, implying that they are a bank growing with the needs of the customers. What a load of shit. Maybe they should use the money they are saving from the forms they are no longer using and invest in some market research, so that 'customer service assistants' over the counter, wouldn't have to deal with people like me telling them that their employer's organisation and setup is dissatisfactory and under par when she asks 'why don't you bank with the CBA?'.

To top it off, she was rude herself in the end, staring at me while she handed over my rent rook and saying 'I'm sorry for the hassle of this transaction'. Surly bitch. Don't take me on. I hope she stumbles upon this while trying to use CommBanking online.

Through all this madness

With You I'm Born Again

Come bring me your softness
Comfort me through all this madness
Don't you know with you
I'm born again

Come give me your sweetness
Now there's you, there is no weakness
Lying safe within your arms
I'm born again

I was half, not whole
In step with none
Reaching through this world
In need of one

Come show me your kindness
In your arms I know I'll find it
Don't you know with you
I'm born again

Lying safe with you
I am born again
Yes I am

Lying safe with you I'm born again



- performed by Mariah Carey & John Legend @ VH1's 2005 Save the Music Concert
- orignally performed by Billy Preston & Syreeta
- written by David Shire and Carol Connors

I wanna tear down the walls

I wanna run
I want to hide
I wanna tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I wanna reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel
Sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name

The city's aflood
And our love turns to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Trampled in dust
I'll show you a place
High on a desert plain
Where the streets have no name

We're still building
Then burning down love
Burning down love
And when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do
Our love turns to rust

We're beaten and blown by the wind
Blown by the wind
And I see our love
See our love turn to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Blown by the wind

When I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do

My tooth hurts

If my tooth recovers from its pulsating farce that it's going through right now, I may manage to take advantage of the reserved seats I have for Memoirs of A Geisha in the Director's Lounge tonight.

Truth be told, the movie hasn't been getting the reaction I had hoped for the movie that boasts the first time Asian actors have filled all the lead roles in a Hollywood film. Although, reading Leigh Paatsch's review today in the Herald Sun 'Hit' Liftout, I was shocked and offended at his blatant belittling of the historical Japanese story. I don't think he was willing to understand the contradicting nature of Geisha life, between artform, tranquility and sexual prowess. So frustrating.

Mariah, Kanye West and John Legend are performing at the Grammy Awards. Pure perfection. There's a three-way possibility of a collaboration with Legend having worked with West, and West having worked with Carey on the stunning track 'Stay The Night' (which I would die to see performed live).

The RSVP date....

Well I have to say it. He's the best. My boyfriend. After putting up with my fretting over my invitations, the exasperating social functions, and the childish antics, he was still able to hold me though a stressful time. We sat in his office yesterday printing, cutting, sticking and stamping invitations, all 80 of them. Many know of my anal deranged dissolutions when preparing design work, and perhaps Brent is the only one who would put up with it. And I thank him. And love him. x

Of all days, it's Friday 13th

I've returned alive from 2005. Premonition noted and struck, as I told my dearest friends that I would not return. It would be a frightening death to me in Sydney. But alas, no such despair.

Now my attention is diverted to arranging my 21st Birthday Party, which disgustingly, one very good friend has already told me of his absence. Hateful. Please do not let my 21st be plagued with declines.

As the same for Genevieve, my memories of Sydney are cascading around me at the moment, so re-telling of stories will have to be presented in dribs and drabs. And with the heinous deliberations of planning the birthday festival season, I can't possibly think of anything more taxing than sorting through camera-phone photos and reliving gory details of my time away. In time, they will come.

Sydney rocks. Really going out and partying for once in my life and doing the things I wanted to do are all the more liberating for a boy turning 21. It was a good break from work, where two days before my departure to Sydney, I found myself crouching behind the desk, shying away from the public, sitting in the fetal position rocking back and forth, in tears. Bless.

Hopefully the sun shining on my computer as I type this entry is a sign that things are looking a lot better and brighter for 2006. But everyone says that at the start of every year, and at the end of the year, everyone wants the next year to be better.

Let go and let God.

OnAir with BlackPunk : Mariah Carey - Without You