tomorrow

*an excerpt from Paulina's Blog, as a gesture of love for her 23rd (she doesn't look a day over 12) Birthday*

is my birthday. which is reason to why i shouldnt write what im about to write.
but it is in my head, and this is why YOU exist, for me to put anything and everything that is in my head.

it was just a goodbye kiss. uh huh.

so what the f** was your hello like?
and was there a could i get you another drink at the bar kiss?
or a pre-goodbye let me put my bags in the taxi kiss before the kiss?

see what i mean? the train of stupid thoughts chugging through my days since he's been back.
i hate it i hate it i hate it.

it was just a kiss. uh huh. yeah.

you said you would never lie since the last time you lied, when i asked you never to hurt me again.
but then there you were. to my face.

and you wonder why its taking so long for me to forget it.
its because if you could break a promise about lying time and time again,
how hard would it be for you to lie about EVERYTHING ELSE?

HOW THE F*** WOULD I KNOW?

its not betrayal that ruins friendships. its suspicion.
and i can fill the ruining, to this day. of all days. i can feel the ruining.

*wasn't that a lovely entry?*

OnAir with BlackPunk : Behind These Hazel Eyes [AOL Live]

Do I look like Joseph Gordon Levitt?

Sitting on fresh new white bed sheets. The crisp plastic-like smell reminding me that I really should have washed them first. It’s just passed one thirty a.m. and I still can’t sleep. Last night I saw Mysterious Skin at the Nova Cinemas in Carlton. Being arguably the most thought provoking/disturbing film I’ve seen, I had trouble keeping my body from shaking, collapsing, and even vomiting as I left the cinema. The taxi ride home was full of frozen limbs and uncomfortable stares up towards the streetlights.



The white bed sheets. They’re white. No blood, no violence. Crisp. Sterile.

My imagination continues to run wild, allowing myself to substitute myself in Neil’s place. Sitting on the train, dripping in blood, in shock and frozen. Seeing him arrive home, undressing and curling up in the corner of the bathroom, crying, made me feel helpless and at the same time, pathetic at the things I get frustrated about.

There’s something horrific about mixing paedophilic themes with Fruit Loops.

I can’t stop crying. I feel like screaming.
It’s wrong that fucking bastards get away with this shit. I hope they all burn in hell. I would never. Ever. Be able to forgive someone who has committed any of the gutless and desperate crimes seen in Mysterious Skin. No one is given the right to violate something in that manner. No one should have to experience them.

Those who have and have been able to face another day, wake up and laugh, hate, cry and love are testaments to the human spirit. They make up for all the disgusting characteristics of those who violate such pleasures.

OnAir with BlackPunk : Coldplay – X&Y [LP]

- written @ 1:58AM September 19 2005

Tears come streaming

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
What's it gonna be?
When you get what you want, but not what you need
Is it him or is it me?
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Don't make me waste my time
Stuck in reverse
Don't make me lose my mind

When the tears come streaming down your face
Can't you stay with me tonight?
When you lose something you can't replace
Don't my kisses please you right?
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
You were so hard to find
Could it be worse?
The beautiful ones, they hurt you every time

Lights will guide you home
Paint a perfect picture
And ignite your bones
Bring to life a vision in one's mind
And I will try to fix you
The beautiful ones

High up above or down below
Always smash the picture always every time
When you too in love to let it go

If you never try you'll never know
If I told you that I was in love with you
Just what you're worth
If we got married
Lights will guide you home
Would that be cool?
And ignite your bones
You make me so confused
And I will try to fix you
The beautiful ones
You always seem to lose

- an amalgamation of Coldplay's 'Fix You' and Mariah Carey's 'The Beautiful Ones'

the storms will come and go.

Coconut palms

Today perhaps is the most beautiful Melbourne day I've seen in quite some time. The sun is shining, some slight cloud, still cool air... a definite Spring feel.

I spent last night at 'The Coconut Palms'. A Vietnamese restaurant on Smith Street. We tried to find the connection between Vietnamese culture and coconut palms. Do the have palm trees there? Or was it a reference to their cooking of the coconut rice that they served? My partner, Brent, observed the strange resemblence of the restaurant counter to the diner set of Summer Bay in Home and Away (leaving out the statue of Buddha though). Overall, it was a pleasant experience.

*Claudemaus looks around to see a man blowing a kiss into the webcam a few computers down from him, and laughs*

That's enough for now I think.

*Claudemaus blows a kiss to his blog* Hehe.

OnAir with BlackPunk : Amerie - Touch

The triangle means platinum.

For the past 13 weeks, I have held off from publishing anything on my blog regarding Mariah Carey's reign at the top spot on the American Billboard Hot 100 Chart fearing that my blog will become a sub-channel of mariahdaily.com. Today, I give in to her awesome success. The following was taken from the Billboard.com Chartbeat:

"For only the fifth time in the history of The Billboard Hot 100, the top two positions are held by the same lead artist. It is the first time that the lead artist is a woman, as Mariah Carey remains No. 1 for the 14th week with "We Belong Together" (Island) and rises 4-2 with the follow-up, "Shake It Off."

Carey is the first lead artist to occupy the top two slots since the first quarter of 2004, when OutKast held the top two spots with "Hey Ya!" and "The Way You Move." Prior to OutKast, Nelly was in first place with "Hot in Herre" and was also the runner-up with "Dilemma," which featured Kelly Rowland, in August 2002.

The only other lead artists to be No. 1 and No. 2 at the same time were the Beatles in 1964 and the Bee Gees in 1978. The Beatles held the top two positions for 10 consecutive weeks, starting the week of Feb. 22, 1964, when "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and "She Loves You" were the top two songs in the nation. The week of April 4, 1964, they occupied the top five spots.

Carey's top-two feat is just part of her chart story this week. "We Belong Together" is on top for the 14th frame, putting it into a five-way tie for the second-longest running No. 1 of the rock era. The all-time champ is another Carey single, "One Sweet Day," recorded with Boyz II Men. That superstar collaboration was No. 1 for 16 weeks in 1995-96.

"We Belong Together" joins "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston, "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men, "Macarena" (Bayside Boys Mix) by Los Del Rio and "Candle in the Wind 1997" / "Something About the Way You Look Tonight" by Elton John in second place. "We Belong Together" is the first song to remain No. 1 for 14 weeks since Elton's memorial single for Princess Diana in 1997-98.

The 4-2 move of "Shake It Off" makes Carey a likely candidate to replace herself at No. 1. That would give Carey her 17th No. 1, and tie her with Elvis Presley for second place on the list of artists with the most chart-toppers in the rock era. It would also make "Shake It Off" the song most likely to give Carey more total weeks at No. 1 than Presley, and thus the most weeks at No. 1 of any artist in the rock era. The current standing: Presley 79, Carey 75."

OnAir with BlackPunk : Aaliyah - Rock The Boat