Will you be my guide?

It's truely amazing to witness and understand the different levels of tolerance MTV displays for different artists. Artists who lip-synch are persecuted, artists who sing live are scrutinised sometimes more intensely than those who lip-synch. When it all comes down to it, one thing is for sure. If you get caught lip-synching, you're screwed. Now more than ever, MTV and their selective media coverage, confuse me. How can an artist who has her breast-cup ripped off her on national television at the largest sporting event in America be more severe and crushing to the music industry than a young performer who has been proclaimed as 'the next big thing' being caught lip-synching on one of America's top-rating television shows? It makes me wonder, is music ever actually a matter of personal taste? Is MTV that manipulative that they would self-mutilate their own calling of freedom to the younger generation and that music should be free for all?

For those who are unfamiliar, Ashlee Simpson is the new teen pop/rock sensation from America. Her album debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Chart, she has a top-rating reality television show on MTV -'The Ashlee Simpson Show'-, she has outsold her also-MTV-famous sister Jessica (who was one-quarter of the blonde pop phenomenon of '98 & '99 - Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears), has a Top 5 Single, and was recently busted by a misplayed backing track on Saturday Night Live. Surely this would be regarded as offensive and derogatory of what Saturday Night Live and 'live performing' is all about. Even Britney Spears performed live at her appearance on the show, which is a miracle. Artists such as Kylie Minogue, Madonna, Christina Aguilera and N*Sync all spent years trying to prove the critics wrong, trying to gather credibility through live performances. Ashlee Simpson is new on the block. The choice as to whether she should sing live or lip-synch is a no-brainer. She's not Michael Jackson. She still requires a microphone.

Even though committing a heinous crime in the industry, Simpson has been let off rather lightly. The MTV reports are positive, allowing her to present her lame reasoning and showing the comedic side of the issue. One has to ask, why the light treatment? What makes this crime any less of an issue than Nipplegate? Perhaps a more suitable and answerable question is: What's in it for MTV?

The Simpson family & MTV connection remind me of another 'you scratch my back and i'll scratch yours' relationship. Bush & Bin Laden? MTV scored big time when they snapped up 98 Degrees lead singer Nick Lachey and pop-tart Jessica Simpson for a reality show about Newlyweds. America fell in love with the couple, tuning into MTV each week to see what hilarious blonde catch phrase Jessica would have for the week. The 'Newlyweds' following sparked up Jessica's fizzling musical career, after a hit series of Newlyweds, the sales of Jessica's album 'In This Skin' were up by 300%. She was causing riots outside Wal-Mart instore appearances. Kids were getting crushed. MTV was getting excited. They got a hold of Ashlee and guess what? She could kinda sing too. Cute. Before you know it, her own reality show had started. America fell in love with another Simpson and the cycle started again.

It's all a matter of good publicity. If MTV were to report and criticise Ashlee's antics just as they would any non-MTV-related artist, people would believe that Ashlee isn't so much 'the next big thing'. They'd stop watching her show, the ratings were fall, the advertisement slots would drop in value, MTV would lose value. So I'm sure MTV believe that they'd protect little Ashlee just the same way they did little Janet. But hang on, when was the last time you saw Janet on MTV? If Janet had a reality show on MTV at the time of the Superbowl, I wonder how they would have handled that?

On Air with BlackPunk: Kylie Minogue - I Believe In You

Be a soldier and fight for love

Something is wrong with me. The stars are aligned in a mysterious position or something. My parents are both away, and I've just spent the last couple of hours cleaning the kitchen. I don't just mean wiping down the benches either. My cleaning spree entailed loading and unloading the dishwasher, emptying bins, cleaning the stove, mopping the floor and even cleaning out the 'past-their-used-by-date' goods out of the fridge.

I'm listening to Tina Arena's greatest hits. Enough said. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw minus the Roberto Cavallii top, Sass & Bide strap pants, Dolce & Gabbana belt and Manolo Blahnik shoes.

Back to speaking of aligned stars, lately, everyone's relationship troubles or yearnings seem to run parallel with those of mine. If so many experience the same trouble I do, it makes me wonder, why don't we/I learn from our/my collective mistakes? I won't let in those who knock on my cardio door, but i'll yearn for the hearts that are already taken by another. We all have a point where we'll barracade ourselves upon the one that always screws us over (aka the person we want). Often they don't know it's happening, and it's our incompetence to tell them the truth. Either their blind to recognise your feelings and you 'so won't be the one to tell them, cos if they can't see it, they're hopeless', you're too chicken shit to tell them yourselves, or you don't want to hurt what they have at the moment. Sometimes it can be all three.

You over-analyse. You're perceptions are warped. You wait for messages that never arrive. You get frustrated when they do - they don't say what you want them to say. You wait for their presence. You start to expect more than they can give. You don't want to, but you do. You want to hate them so that you can have an excuse to never see them again. You want them to love you so that you have an excuse to always see them. You regret the chances you had but never took.

Personally, I constantly hang around for my 'one' in the hope that one day, they'll realise what's right in front of their face and that I'd do anything for them. No matter who tells me, no matter how many times, that 'it' will never happen and that if 'they' really were for me they'd have realised it long ago, there will always be that hope that maybe one day... they'll be mine.

"How empty of me to be so full of you" - Janet Jackson 'The Velvet Rope'

On Air with BlackPunk: Tina Arena - Sorrento Moon (I Remember)

/I'd come to depend on you

All that I am is all that you’ve given me
Did you never worry
That I'd come to depend on you
I gave you all the love I had in me
But now I find you lied
And I can't believe it's true

Oh you better stop
Before you tear me all apart
You better stop
Before you go and break my heart

Ooh you'd better stop

Now time after time I've tried to walk away
I've tried to walk away
It's not that easy
When your soul is torn in two
So I just resign myself to it everyday
Now all I can do is to leave it
Leave it up to you

Oh you better stop
Before you tear me all apart
You better stop
Before you go and break my heart

You'd better stop if you love me
Now's the time to be sorry
I can't go on
I won't believe that you'd walk out on me

You better stop
Stop before you go and break my heart

- written by Sam Browne
- performed and arranged by Chanel Cole [Live @ Australian Idol 2]

SMS 'Chanel' to 19 10 10 after 8:40pm 24.10.04 until 7:40 25.10.04

Divine retribution and here we go

The national election has passed by without much criticism on my part. Though, Monday night’s result of Australian Idol, has thrown me into disbelief and absolute outrage at the voting Australian public.

Ricki-Lee Coulter, Australia's answer to Whitney Houston and Kelly Clarkson, was shockingly dismissed from the Idol stage. After falling into the bottom 3 (the three contestants with the lowest number of votes), which was a first for Ricki-Lee, Marty Warrell was sent back to the couch. Safe for another week, it meant Chanel Cole and Ricki-Lee Coulter were left to attempt to salvage another week in the competition.

The fact that those two women were in the bottom two, let alone the bottom three, is enough to prove all the critics of Australian Idol and its 'karaoke-competition-esque' form true. Chanel Cole has arguably stayed the most true to her style, being able to execute each week effectively while still marking each performance with her quirky, chill-out niche way. Whilst Ricki-Lee had performed what was up-until-now a perfect series of pop-diva performances.

Sunday night’s theme was ‘The Beatles’, which to some contestants presented an opportunity to exhibit an understanding of the irrefutable success and impact that the Beatles left behind, and presented others with a trap to leave them out of their depth. The night was flooded with messy and overdone arrangements and falsely led interpretations. Contestants forgot lyrics and wandered around the stage like headless chickens, while the judges constantly fought over whether modern interpretations of classic tunes is not necessarily disrespectful to immortal melodies.

Here’s to Ricki-Lee *clink*. The best is yet to come.

On Air with BlackPunk: Alicia Keys Featuring Stevie Wonder & Lenny Kravitz - If I Ain't Got You / Higher Ground [Live at The 2004 MTV Video Music Awards]

Spot goes to vote

I experienced one of those 'moments' on Saturday morning, as I was parking my car at the voting station. It was that 'i'm-mature-and-now-carry-the-ability-to-change-the-nation' type instant. This was my outlet to express how I felt about the way the nation had been run, and the direction I'd like it to take.

Determined to be fair and completely educated about the issue, I took leaflets from all parties on my way into the hall. Labor was obviously keen to shake the Liberal stronghold over my electorate, with two people at the front gate, and another two at the door. The Greens and the Democrats aka The Lie Detectors (that's a bit depressing, isn't it?) were all stationed near the Liberals, set up like a Gauntlet on 'Gladiators' (The Channel 7 version - I hate Russell Crowe). And yes, I even took a leaflet from Family First, even though they want to burn me at the stake - I was more suprised that they gave me a leaflet in the first place. Liberal had stationed their people closer to the door, making charming chit-chat with those who were lining up.

'Ah. Hello Mrs. Evans. Brought along little Johnny I see?'

'Rather [Astounding British accent, make this seem as yuppie as possible]. He's come along to see how to vote Liberal.'

'Good to hear Mrs. Evans. I shall speak to you later.'

This sort of banter was my environment for the 5 minutes it took me to go through the voting process. It was all going smoothly... People talking amongst themselves, me conjuring up rebuttals in my head for every issue they raised.

My pleasant experience was hindered by a voter located in front of me, receiving her ballot papers and getting her name marked off.

'So here are your ballot papers. There's a vacant booth behind you, and remember to put them in the boxes when you've finished, by the exit at the back.'

'What do I do with this?' the middle-aged mother (she had her young daughter with her) pondered while she looked at the white Senate ballot paper.

The entire process had to be explained to her. I understand that first-time voters may not be familiar with the process, but she had voted before (as overheard in the conversation). It made me wonder the significance of a vote - my vote - when there are people who don't even know what they are voting for.

It made me recall the days when I'd vote with my father as a young boy, watching him fill out all the Senate boxes, from 1 - 2,000 or however many. I wanted my vote to count, regardless of the number of people who don't care. It's my vote, it's my right.

On Air with BlackPunk: Duran Duran - Sunrise

Late night shopping

It's late and I'm bored. I'm searching for things to buy with the money I don't have. I really really like these phones:

K700i

T630

Which do you like better?

But what I really want is one of these.

On Air with BlackPunk: Jill Scott - Golden

Camp ClaudeMaus

If you ever walk through Parliament station, or any major populated area in Melbourne, around the time of Anzac Day, take notice of the names of the boys selling the badges.

Denver. Campbell. Kennedy.

Don't they remind you of American jock culture? They all seem like American bush camp names. 'Camp Denver', 'Camp Campbell', 'Camp Kennedy'. It's just too strange. I wonder if they're just stage names, chosen for them by their group leader to portray their military training to the general public. We don't need that though, their khaki jumpsuits give it away. Buy an Anzac badge.

Au Maya, can we trade in my car and get a BMW 1-Series? They're hot!

On Air with BlackPunk: Zero 7 - Somersault

Roving with crime

Yesterday, watching one of the 'All Time Greatest Simpson's' episodes on Channel 10, a pop up advertisement came up on the bottom of the screen:

'ROVE Live! 9:30 Tonight. It's not a cop show!'

At that moment I realised that I may not be the only person in Australia who is fed up with the surge in new crime-investigation related dramas that are flooding our televisions. Channel 10 have begun running 'Crime Scene Saturdays'. A marathon of cop shows from 8:30pm until 11:30pm. Uhuh, I'll see you there.

Is it the new obsession after 'reality TV'? Are we destined to be caught on our couches watching nothing but depressing murders, abductions and violence? If they want a reality-fad equivalent, I'll give them a murder-suicide if I see another Law & Order division.

To make matters worse, my sister has ordered another series of 'CSI: Crime Scene Invstigation' on DVD.

Salty Sweat

A cop out? Or a cry of innocence? Either way, it's tragic... that we will never know the entire truth.

A national child porn investigation has sparked numerous suspect suicides after they were interviewed about the allegations.

The reports on the issue remind me of the satirical Working Dog production, Frontline. A comedic, yet dramatic series taking the viewer behind the scenes of commercial current affairs television. An episode in particular portrayed a similar circumstance whereby a priest was accused of sexual abuse by a young woman who had been apart of his congregation. A few days after the accusations became prominent in the media, and after the young woman had been interviewed, he committed suicide. That night, the show interviewed the young woman live-to-air. It turned out, she was sorry that he had died, but would never forget what they did to her.

'They did you to?' host Mike Moore asked.

'Yes. I will never forget what he did to me... and the aliens.'

'Aliens?'

'Yes. I was abducted by aliens. It's the truth I tell you! No one believes me, but they did!' she screamed.

It turns out she was crazy.

Where are you Au Maya?

On Air with BlackPunk: Jessica Simpson - Angels